Chapter 9

"Not bad," Anne remarked as she waited backstage and watched the last of EYC's set. They were three guys who possessed some talent and the compulsive need to strip. Apparently someone once joked they were 'the opening act's opening act.' She was ready to go on stage to do her thing. Kevin walked with her out to the stage, after climbing the stairs she sang her first song, Why, the crowd got into it. After she was done she began talking to the crowd, amidst the cheers she heard a slow rumble, the most sickening sound a performer can hear, booing. A look of horror crossed her face, but she quickly shook it off, she looked at Kevin who smiled at her and encouraged her to keep going. The rest of the set went well, Anne played more aggressively than she normally did, it was the only thing she could to drown out that noise that still pounded in her brain even though it had faded away moments after it had begun. When she was done with her set, she bowed and rushed off stage, she had to get that noise out of her head, Howie who did not understand why she was upset tried to stop her, but she pushed past him. The hot water washed away her fears, and pain. She sat in her dressing room, alone, and blasted her stereo, this was her way to deal with her anger.

The next night's show went better for both her and the guys, although she had not actually seen it, she heard in the past week they had been having issues with their pants. As a joke she left five boxes in their dressing room, each labeled with one of their names.

"What the hell?" A.J. asked when he saw the boxes. As the other member filed in behind him he passed out the boxes. Each guy opened his and read the note inside. "To prevent any further mishaps. Love, Anne."
"Belts," Kevin said. "I don't believe it."

"We're never going to live this down," Howie commented to Kevin.

"Nope, we're not," he replied.

Anne was getting ready to sound check one night when Tommy came to talk to
her. "Hi Rose."

"Oh my God, Tommy, what happened to your hand?" Anne asked, noticing the splint on his hand.

"It's not too serious. I was down watching the guys play basketball and all of a sudden A.J. was like 'Hey Powder, catch.' And he whipped the ball at me, the pass sucked. Well, it broke three bones, little ones. Remind me to never play basketball with A.J. McLean, ever again."

"That's horrible, can you still play?"

"Well, no, that's what I came to talk to you about."

"Oh Rose, there you are, minor crisis," Nicole said as she came up to Anne,
she did not even notice Tommy standing there. In general, everyone except the Boys preferred to called Anne, Rose or Rosie. "We need you to play keyboards during the Boys' set tonight."

"Hi, Nicole," Tommy said.

"Oh hi Tommy. Tommy-I didn't even see you."

"I have the situation under control," he replied. Nicole left. "She get's a
little stressed out sometimes."

"I can see that. Okay so you guys want me to play keyboards tonight?"

"Yes, I'm sorry it's so last minute, but we're kinda stuck. I'll get you
the music. It's nothing you can't handle."

"Okay, I'll do it."

Rose played with the band as a guest musician, and even after Tommy's
hand healed, she continued to sit in on a few of the guys songs. Early in October, the third to be exact Kevin turned twenty eight, they had a small party for him. The tour was looking up for Anne, except for that first night, the crowds were very warm and supportive. One night after a show Anne cornered Kevin.

"Kev, I have a huge favor to ask," Anne said.

"What is it?"

"I'm shooting the video for Stars in two weeks and I wanted to put some
tangoing in the video and Mitchell the said I can't unless I learn beforehand because he doesn't have the time to teach me..."

Kevin cut her off. "And you heard about my mad ballroom skills and was wondering if I could hook you up with some tango lessons."

"Exactly."

"Alright. How about tomorrow morning?"

"Sure sounds great."

For about a week Kevin taught Anne how to tango, and the pair had managed
to keep the dance lessons secret from Howie. That weekend the guys and Anne had all planned to go skiing, however, Saturday morning Nick came down with the flu, and he decided not to go.

Sunday morning when everyone was at the venue setting up, Kevin met Anne so they could go dance. He found her in her dressing room, hunched over her laptop. "What are you doing?" he asked.

"Reading e-mails. Kev, you speak English, right?"

"Uh...last time I checked."

"Well I don't think this girl does. This is my latest piece of hate mail.
If you can make sense out of this mess, than you are a smarter person than
I. Here read this."

Kevin came over and read the letter. "Well let's see, 'rose, i think you is a stupid no talent bich, and the only reason howie likes you is cause you are a slut and dress like a tramp. you're lyrics suck and you don't sing worth crap. go back to loserville where you belong, and don't come back, EVER. and get your hands off my howie, he is going to marry either i or my friend becky, we can't decided yet. sincerly, Howie's True Gurlfriend..' Well, she's obviously not any older than twelve."

"Yeah, and doesn't know how to use spell check either. I don't even know what to say to that slut comment, except laugh. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I dress in general, the most conservative of all the girlfriends, don't I? At the VMA's I was one of the most covered up women there. And the Grammy nomination for There and Back, and the fact I sing opera, might kinda contradict that no talent bitch thing."

"Yes you always dress very classy. I think at the VMA's that was the most skin I've even seen you show, and you didn't even show any midriff. That girl has no clue what she's talking about. She's totally jealous," Kevin said.

"Why thank you, Kevin. Hold on a second I have to quickly send this back."
Anne quickly corrected the many errors and added a paragraph at the
beginning. 'Dear 'Howie's True Gurlfriend,' I greatly appreciate getting
'fan mail,' if you feel the need to insult me, go right ahead, but please do
not insult my intelligence. Please try and spell things correctly,
capitalization helps too, and use something close to proper grammar. It is
obvious that you don't like me, and honestly I could care less if someone
hates me for such a stupid reason as who I choose to date. And for future
reference, bitch is spelled b-i-t-c-h. Sincerely, The Rose.' Wow that felt
good, I've never done that before." She sent the e-mail, and then she and Kevin snuck away for their daily tango lesson, he was carrying the stereo as they walked and talked while looking for a secluded spot.

"...No, the thing I remember hearing about most from Lauren and Lindsay to was the A.J. and the floor thing. What was he doing? I mean I know what he was doing, I mean, why was he doing it? There were little kids in the audience."

"He was looking for loose change," Tommy Smith, who was walking by, cut in.

Anne laughed. "My reaction was I was going to deny everything, if Aunt
Kris questioned me on it, I would just say I thought the girls made it up."

"Good plan. Notice our pants on this tour don't have pockets for 'change to fall out of'," Kevin said.

"Hey, you're right. This room over here looks deserted."

They went in and Kevin set down the stereo and they practiced for about
half an hour, then they took a break to relax and talk. Anne always liked this time best, she had really gotten to know Kevin. Except for Howie, for obvious reasons, Kevin was the Backstreet guy she was closest to. They had much in common, and enjoyed talking, they shared the brother/sister vibe. They sat on the table in the room and began to chat.

"You're doing really well, you're going to blow Mitchell away," Kevin said.

"Thanks," she replied. Kevin rested his arm on the table behind her. "We
are cut from the same cloth, you and I, we are so much alike, it's creepy," Anne observed.

"I know. Our musical influences, just little personality things."

"Don't forget our taste in sunglasses. Our voices are kinda similar, we
both end up singing the low stuff, generally. I think you're the only one who could give me a run for my money when it comes to low notes, you're a baritone, although I can't decide which variety, yet. You could be a lyric bari, I suppose. I have the hardest time trying to classify you guys, Howie's gotta be a coloratura tenor, that's the easy one, I'm a coloratura mezzo, and we have the same type of high range. I finally got my high A# back, so I can now, hopefully beat him out in a range war, for some reason that makes me feel better. Brian seems kinda lyrical, he could be a lyric tenor, maybe Nick too, but he's a little lower though. That kid has some freaky high stuff, when I heard him squeak out ungodly high stuff my jaw just dropped. I still don't know about A.J., he's a high bari, that's all I know. I'm worried about him, he's gotta be careful, I can see nodules in his future, if he doesn't lay off some of that screaming he does, you get nodules you're screwed."

"You're right."

"I keep meaning to tell you this, I swear you sound better live than you do
on the CDs. Go figure? Usually it's the other way around."

Kevin laughed. "I guess I'm just talented like that. Let's see what else, football, we both love football. And you look at your cousins the same way I look at the rest of the guys. I saw that picture you had of the girls, they're really cute."

"They're going to be at the first Detroit show. Kevin, please do me a huge favor and never say that around them. 'Oh my God, Kevin thinks I'm cute, I know I'm only twelve and he's twenty-eight, but there's still a chance!' Oh please."

"Don't mock them, they're family."

"You're telling me that you wouldn't do the same thing if you were in my
shoes?"

"Good point. Is Sara taking them to the show?"

"Yep, I talked her into it this time."

"Well, Nick should be happy."

"He really got a kick out of her, didn't he?"

"Yeah, you saw how well they got along," Kevin said.

"This tour has been the most amazing thing to ever happen to me. As
annoying as Jake is, I'm glad he made me go."

"I don't believe I've had the pleasure of meeting Jacob yet."

"No, you haven't, he'll show up soon enough," Anne said, changing the
subject. "I still can't thank you guys enough, you gave me so much exposure, I don't think I could have gotten out there the same way. The numbers for my album I think are in part thanks to you guys. 'Backstreet Boys featuring The Rose,' it's fabulous publicity. Also since I started listening to you guys I've gotten into a lot of other music I wouldn't have otherwise. Before you guys recruited me I was just into rock, then I started listening to top forty to hear you and it opened up this whole other world of music to me. Now, if I hadn't I never would have discovered people like Marc Anthony, who I really like, or Miss Christina, or even that 'other band' to an extent. But don't worry, they don't hold a candle to you, at least all five of you get to sing."

Kevin laughed. "It's not because of us, it's because of Why, it's a great song, and everyone can relate to it. I know I can, that's how I felt when my father died."

"That's another thing we have in common, our dads. He is why I left London, after he had his heart attack I gave up everything I had there, because he always taught me that family comes first."

"That's what my dad taught me too, blood is thicker than water."

"Kev, I haven't really had a chance to tell you this, but I really like
Kristin, she's so nice, you caught a good one."

"She's amazing, I don't know what I'd do without her, I've known her forever. When I met her, my eyes practically popped out of my head."

"So it was like that bit in Wayne's World where he sees Cassandra and then Dreamweaver starts?"

"Yep, but the song was different."

"That is so cool. I wish I could say something like that, but that wasn't
how it was with Howie, it was much more subtle. It took me a while to realize I liked him. Hey Kev, what is her last name again?"

"Willits, why?"

"Oh my God, it was her, I was right."

"Okay, you lost me back there."

"Sorry. This has been like a total Broadway week for me, like a hauled out
all my soundtracks and stuff and have been listening to them. Well I was listening to my CD from when they revived Forum in '96, and I happened to check out the names out on the back. I don't know why I did it, but I was scanning the names and this name caught my eye, Kristin Willits."

"Yep, she was a dancer in that show."

"I thought that was her. She's a confirmed theatre kid, wow, that's another
big plus in my book. She got to do a show with Nathan Lane, how awesome is that? He's like one of my all time favorite actors, he's just so funny, but I digress."

"It's no big deal."

"I still wonder how could I catch such a wonderful break, and end up here?
If I hadn't my life would be completely different."

"I don't know," Kevin quickly said, he looked away and changed the subject. "And I take it Howie wasn't a bad thing either? I still can't believe you sent that e-mail back."

"I've wanted to do that for a long time. I am sick and tired of feeling like I have to apologize for dating him, this I think is the happiest I've been in a long time. Despite what some of those girls think, I didn't come into this tour thinking 'Ooh, Howie D. I am going to steal him and make all those girls jealous.' No, that's just stupid. The fact is before this tour I probably couldn't pick him out of a line up even if I had to. I've been called every name in the book, and not just in English either."

"Well I'm glad to see you're in good humor about the whole thing."

"I have to be, it's the only way I can put up with it and not go insane.
Even with some of the crap I have to put up with it's worth it. All of you are amazing, I love you all like brothers, it's like being part of a wonderful family."

Kevin put his arm around her, and gave her a hug and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"Well what is going on here?" Howie cut in.

"Howie!" Anne exclaimed as she jumped off the table. "What are you doing
here?"

"I was about to ask you the same thing, Anne. Kevin, what's going on?"

"Nothing, D."

"I wish I could believe you two. Kev, I trusted you man, and you go and
betray me? I was walking by and I see you kiss my girlfriend. What the hell?"

"Howie, please let me explain," Anne stammered.

"Anne, just get away from me. I don't even know what to say to you,
I-I..." he broke off. Visibly upset he stormed off without saying a word.

"Howie!" Anne started to go after him.

"Let him go, he just needs time to cool off," Kevin said. Anne crumbled,
hot tears of anger began streaming down her face. She was furious at Howie for being angry at her and not letting her explain, but crushed at the thought she could actually lose him. She dried her tears and she and the healthy Backstreet guys prepared to go skiing. Kevin, Howie and Anne walked on eggshells with each other the entire day, Kevin thought the entire situation was stupid. Between Howie and Anne there were vacillating feelings of anger and remorse. Every time one would get up the guts to talk to the other, it would be at a time when the other person was angry. Rose worked out a lot of her anger on her skis, Brian and Howie also chose skis, while Kevin and A.J. tried their luck on snowboards. None of the guys were particularly skilled at the various winter sports. Brian did quite well on his skis, he learned how to roll down the hill and not lose all his equipment. A.J. trying to show off as always, spent most of the day sitting on the snow, rather than sliding across it. Howie, also spent more time on his back than on his feet. One particular fall sent a cascade of snow high in the air. He sat up laughing, Anne who was skiing near him began to laugh too, when their eyes met their smiles instantly faded. Later that day they all ended up on a fairly easy intermediate run.

"Anne, slow down," Brian called. When he caught up to her, he continued.
"Geez, you're fast, you're good too, I haven't seen you fall once."

"Brian, I'm from the north country, I've been doing this since I was twelve. I should be good by now."

"Do you ski a lot?"

"As much as I can. Woah, heads up," she called out to Brian as Kevin shot
past her. "What the hell is he doing?" she silently wondered. She was going quite fast and he blew right by her, seconds later she saw the jump he was headed for. "Oh God, he's going too fast, he's not going be able to land that." She hung back a little, the rest of the guys caught up with her. Kevin hit the jump full speed and got a lot of air, and then he landed, hard. As he hit the edge of his board caught some snow, and he tumbled, and landed on his right shoulder. Everyone stopped right by him. "Kevin, are you okay?" Anne asked.

"Yes," he replied, trying to pick himself up. "No," he said, as he touched his shoulder. Much to Howie's dismay, Anne helped Kevin up.

"Don't give me that look, Howie. Come on, Kev, I think you're done for the day." The guys slowly helped Kevin down off the mountain and to the ski patrol office. He was on his way to the hospital, and the other three guys decided this would be a good a time to stop. Everyone ended up back at the venue, Kevin came back a few hours later, with his right arm in a sling, he had dislocated his shoulder.

"How is it?" Anne asked.

"It could be worse," Kevin said trying to remain optimistic.

"Well I'm glad you're okay." Anne had just finished her sound check for
that night's show, and was going to get ready. The guys went on to do their check. Anne stuck around for a few minutes. The first song they checked was Don't Want You Back, and Howie got a little too into it and glared at Anne a few times. Upset she stormed out.

"Oh stop it." Kevin said when sound check was over.

"What?" Howie asked.

"You're being stupid."

"I don't have to listen to this crap, I'm not talking to you either."

"Oh yes you are. Do you know all the bullshit she puts up with for you? You
didn't hear some of those girls boo her that first night, just because she's your girlfriend. You didn't see the pain on her face, well I did. I wouldn't put up with something like that, dammit Howie, you're being a fucking moron."

"Where do you get off calling me that? You're the one I saw kiss my girlfriend."

"You want to know what was going on? Fine, I'll tell you. She has to shoot the video for Stars next week, and she wants to tango in it, with you. And because Mitchell her choreographer was being an absolute dickhead, he said it couldn't go in unless she learned before hand. So she came to me."

"Why didn't she tell me?"

"She wanted to surprise you, she wanted to wait until she was really good."

"Kev, I want to believe you, but..."

"But what? You have to believe me, it's the truth."

"I saw you kiss her, what about that?"

"It was an innocent kiss, it was on the cheek for God sake."

"You're telling me you never would have tried anything?"

"Of course I thought about it for like a second, hell we all did. I
remember when I first saw the way you two looked at each other when you first met, I didn't ever stand a chance."

"Do you mean that?"

"Yes, she's crazy about you. If you could hear the way she talks about you
then maybe you'd understand. The only reason I can think of why you flipped out is you're so afraid to lose her, and by doing that you ended up hurting the person who means the most to you in the world. Don't think I haven't seen that ring you've been carrying around in your pocket for the past week, we all have." As Kevin said this, Howie took the small silver ring out of his pocket. "Unless you do something now, you're going to lose her."

Howie was suddenly ashen, "But what?" he asked. After a few moments of thought he had a revelation. "Kev, can you still play piano?"

"What?"

"With the shoulder, can you still play piano?"

"Yes, the doctors said it would be okay."

"Could you do me a huge favor and not?"

"I don't understand...oh wait, I get it, nice touch."

Howie walked over to Anne's dressing room, he was going to try and talk to
her. As he got closer, he could hear Nookie, and then Bawitdaba, blasting through the door. It was apparent Anne was still mad. Nicole came out of the dressing room.

"She's still mad, huh?"

"Oh yeah. You go in, it's your funeral," Nicole replied, and Howie walked
away. He hung around hoping she would come out so he could talk to her. He heard several somber songs, Robbie Williams' Angels, Kid Rock's Only God Knows Why, and No Doubt's Don't Speak.

He was going to go in and try and talk to her, judging by her music, she was in a less angry mood. As he put his hand on the door handle, he heard her say "Pull yourself together, Rose. He's still mad at you. Well I don't give a fuck what Howard Dorough thinks." Limp Bizkit's Faith came on loudly, and he backed away from the door, he could hear her screaming out the lyrics along with Fred Durst.

Anne took the stage for her set, still mad at Howie, it was better for her to be mad, if she broke down she would not be able to perform at all. After she was done, she walked right past Howie, not even wanting to look at him. During line check Howie tried to get closer to her, to talk to her, but it was no use.

"Kev, what am I going to do? I can't even get near her."

"Let me worry about Anne, you just think up something good." Kevin went
over to where Anne was standing. "Anne, can I talk to you?"

"Sure Kev, what is it?"

"Well it's about my shoulder, it really hurts to try and play piano, would
you play Back To Your Heart for me during the show?"

"Yes, Kevin, but don't you think it would sound better if Tommy played it?"

"Please, would you do it? It would mean a lot to me."

"All right, I'll do it."

"Thank you. Oh, Anne one more thing. I have a confession to make. When
you asked me how you got here and I said I didn't know, well I lied, I do know. Back in May, when we were planning out the tour, we all sat down to choose an opening act. It was everyone, band, management, us, well Howie suggested you. And well, most of us vetoed you flat out. I was one of them, I'm not too proud of that, but it's the truth. Anyway, Howie was like, 'Come on guys, at least listen to her.' Well, we did, and by the end of the third song we knew you were it. He is why you're here. Also he is the one who got you Lilith. He called in an old favor and got them to look at one of your tapes. Yes, it's true."

Anne's hands began to shake, she was in shock, and about to break down, but she still had to go on stage. Right before everyone filed on stage, Howie pulled Tommy Smith aside.

"Tommy, I have a huge favor to ask."

"What is it?"

"You know Anne is still mad at me, well I thought of a way to apologize for
blowing up at her, but I need your help."

"Anything."

"Tonight I want her to play Don't Wanna Lose You Now, All I Have To Give,
I'll Never Break Your Heart, No One Else Comes Close, and Show Me The Meaning."

"No problem, I still can't believe you two fought, she was going to surprise you."

"Did everyone know about this but me?"

"Yes."

Howie handed Tommy the apology note he had written to Anne and told Tommy
when to give it to her. The show started and the fragile Anne, played for the Boys, for Howie. During Don't Wanna Lose You Now, she was okay, while she played All I Have To Give, her favorite 'old' Backstreet song, her knees began to shake. She pulled it together for I'll Never Break Your Heart, but by the time she had to play Show Me The Meaning, her hands were trembling. She did not want to play Back To Your Heart, but she had promised Kevin she would. In the second verse the note from Howie fluttered down on the keyboard. She scanned it with her eyes and the tears started. She looked out at Howie, trying to catch his eye, but all she could see was his back. In his hand was a small sign with the words 'I love you,' written on it, when she saw it she just about collapsed. When the song was over, she bolted under the stage, and remembered to take the tear stained note with her.

After the show's conclusion, Anne anxiously waited for Howie under the stage. She was a wreck. When she saw him, she raced to meet him, they hugged and he spun her around, he slowly put her down.

"I am so sorry we fought, I never should have...I love you," Anne choked out through tears. Howie made her sit. He fumbled around with his necklace for a few seconds, and palmed the silver ring he had removed from the chain.

"I've wanted to give this to you for about a week now, but I never knew how," he said as he balanced the ring on his fingertips. "Now it's only a promise ring," Howie said. "And I want you to promise me that someday maybe you'll let me replace this with an engagement ring." Howie slid the 'Irish wedding band' on her finger, it fit perfectly. They kissed and for those few seconds they existed in a total state of euphoria.
Later that night Anne cornered Kevin. "You lie, I know you could have still played. But thanks anyway." She started getting choked up. "Kevin, I don't know where you went when you wrote that song, but when you guys do the next album, please go back there."

"You got it," Kevin smiled and gave her a hug.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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