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Chapter 30
"Keep in touch?"
The only response Hope received was a sweet, searching kiss from Kevin. For once she was unable to response. Kevin felt the nonexistent reaction and pulled back. His perused her features, searching for a sign as to what she was feeling. He was unable to prevail-her eyes held a sheltered, guarded look that didn't want to include him. He cringed.
"Hope?" he questioned. She just looked away. He guided her chin with his finger. "Talk to me."
"Kevin," she said hoarsely.
"Huh?" he whispered. Please don't say what I'm thinking you're about to say, he prayed.
"I think we should see other people."
His heart plummeted to his toes. She'd said it.
"It wouldn't work out," she continued, trying to ignore the shattered look in his eyes, though it tore her apart. Keep going, Hope. "You're the one who said you couldn't promise…"
"Yeah, I totally agree," he lied. She lifted her eyes and looked at his face, then quickly looked back down. "I did say that."
"But do you really agree?"
He swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded. Inside he was screaming, 'NO!' When had he fallen in love with Hope?
He would have to bite the bullet. After tomorrow, he'd never have to see her again, and he could get over her on his own time. Hopefully. Yeah, right, he thought, anguished.
"I'm sorry, Kevin, I just…" Hope was saying. He tuned her out and continued to dwell on his grief.
~*~*~*~
Faith pushed off the grass and sent the hammock swinging. She leaned back and closed her eyes, breathing in the night air. An owl hooted somewhere. I didn't know there were owls in Maui, she thought hazily.
Her grandmother flitted into her mind. She and Faith had had a connection (as well as Grace), and many of the things that her grandma had told her came to Faith's mind right now.
"Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear." Brian had been on Sabrina; the Teenage Witch, and Faith had been watching it with a friend's little sister. He'd worn a red shirt, she recalled. His smile had blown her away. And, then, he'd kissed her on the beach - how could she forget that moment? Losing track of all time, Faith had never felt such a stirring in her heart as she did when Brian kissed her.
Her grandmother was wrong. Love didn't end with a tear. This love didn't end at all. Faith was sure of that now. The crying part of this relationship was over.
"Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched, and those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives." The last insightful, meaningful, inspirational quote her grandmother would say…the day she died.
Faith crawled fully onto the hammock and stretched her legs out. The tears on her face dried under the gentle breeze, and she closed her eyes, letting the soft sway of the ropes soothe her.
"May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough hope to make you happy, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human," Faith whispered into the night.
"Don't wait for the one you can live with, wait for the one you can't live without." The familiar voice broke the stillness and Faith peeked an eye open. He stood over her, his arms folded, his grin gentle.
"Hi, Brian." She smiled.
"May I?" He gestured to the hammock.
"'Course." She moved to her left, and the hammock leaned dangerously. She would have tumbled onto the grass, but Brian caught the ropes between his fingers and like a child-filled swing, slowly let it down. She grinned sheepishly.
"Ouch - rope burn." He blew on the inside of his knuckles, his brow creased.
Faith sat up.
"Y'ok?"
"Oh, sure," he said, waving if off. He sat down tentatively next to her and the flexibility of the hammock caused them to immediately fall to the middle. Brian looked up, grinning, and tweaked her nose.
"This thing'll put us in the ICU by the end of the night," he joked.
"As long as I don't have to eat the Salsbury Steak," she added, "and I'm with you, I'd be fine."
He pulled his knees Indian style and laid back. "What were you doing out here all alone? I was looking for ya all over - I wanted to dance."
"YOU wanted to dance?" she asked, incredulous. He shot her a wounded look. "Sorry. I was just thinking, actually." Her voice grew softer. "I'm really going to miss you."
His voice was low, too. "Bet I'll miss you more."
"Whatever." Faith grabbed his hand and examined his fingernails. "I heard somewhere that the best kind of friend is one you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation in the world."
His voice was back to normal. "Are you trying to tell me something?"
"Yeah - shut up," she quipped.
He laughed and turned his palm upwards, lacing his fingers through hers. Faith gazed at their intertwined hands, resting on his tennis shoe, and noticed something. "I always wanted to see your chewed fingernails up close."
Brian rolled his eyes and leaned his head on her shoulder. "You don't know how many times I get that," he mentioned, yawning. "Only it usually sounds less nonchalant. Something like this, 'Oh, Brian! You chew your nails! How cute! You're so adorable! I want you; can I have you?'"
Faith laughed at the pitch change in his voice. "What do you say back?"
"I was just gonna tell you," he said. "I say, 'Sure, where's your place? You do have hot water, right? And I can't - absolutely can't - go without having my toenails clipped twice a day. You're willing, right? Really? Let's go!'"
Faith was doubled over laughing by the end of his speech. "What's sad," she gasped, "is that some people probably would!"
Brian laughed loudly, then stopped. "Why is that sad?"
Faith laughed harder. "Oh, Brian." She shook her head. "What am I going to do with you?"
"Do with me what you will," he intoned in a deep voice. "Here's a tip," he added and wrapped his arms around her.
Faith wiggled around in his arms until she was comfortable, then she laid her head on his chest and closed her eyes. Silence ensued.
"This is nice, too, but I was thinking more along the lines of this," Brian suddenly murmured, tilting his head down so his mouth was inches away from Faith's. He kissed her for a few moments, then pulled away.
"I can't believe I have to spend all day tomorrow packing," Faith mused sadly.
"I'll help you," he offered, leaving out the fact that he just wanted to spend as much time with her as he could.
Faith smiled, lifting her chin and looking into his eyes. "Thanks," she whispered. He smiled back, gazing into her eyes.
"How often will I see you?" she asked quietly.
His gaze flicked to the trees above the air, and he sighed. "It'll be hard."
"I know."
"I mean, there will be times, possibly days on end, when I won't even get to call you."
"I know," she said again, softer this time.
He squeezed her hand. "I'll call whenever I can, though. Even if I get in trouble."
She granted him a small laugh, but it died away and she stared through the ropes at the grass.
"I kept trying to tell myself…" she began. A tear escaped her tear duct. "I kept thinking, it'd be fine. I can call him, and he'll put aside all that he's doing and talk to me…but I know now. That's selfish." Her voice broke. "But I'm going to miss you so much!"
"Shhh," Brian soothed, pulling her to his chest and rubbing her back. She buried her nose in his teeshirt, memorizing his cologne. It made her cry harder, and Brian shifted his position. He was now cradling her while she cried. "S'ok," he insisted, wishing he could take away all the tears but knowing he couldn't. "It'll be fine, Faith. You'll see."
"Will you sing to me?" she mumbled into his chest.
"Sure, baby," he whispered. "'Girl I miss you, and it's only been one day,
since I've been away, and already I say I long to kiss you, and hold you
in my arms, the nights are much too long, when you're gone. Baby that's
why…wherever I go, girl my heart stays with you. After every show, I
wanna rush over to you, my heart stays with you." It was Howie's song, but
it fit so right and Brian had to sing it. It expressed everything he was
feeling and more. "Trust me, when we are apart, I won't break your heart,
wherever you are, I know you feel me baby, cause I can feel you too, no matter
what you do, I think of you. Girl my heart stays with you. After every show,
I wanna rush over to you. Baby yeah, when I'm leaving town, girl it hurts
me too, but I've got a job to do…I'll be back around, to feel your sweet
face, your embrace, no one can take your place, I want you to know…"
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