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Prologue
I stared at the golden frame, and the picture within it. I traced his lips
with my finger. Two years. Two long years since I’d seen him. And since
he’s seen me.
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Scott promised me. He promised he’d never tell. And I believed him.
He was my best friend. He didn’t shun me as a pregnant seventeen-year-old.
He didn’t shun me as a mother in high school. He was my only friend.
Him and Carrie.
I felt a sudden pain of longing. I needed him. But I couldn’t see him.
He didn’t need me. Scott had mentioned before, right after I left, how
much he regretted seeing Nick moping around, never wanting to do anything.
Gradually, those comments came less and less often, until they stopped
completely. He never knew why I left. And I doubted whether he cared.
I had planned to have the baby and then give him or her up for adoption,
but when she came, she looked so much like Nick I just couldn’t bear
to. She had his mess of bright blonde hair, and his baby blue eyes. She even
had his smile.
My father, when I told him I was keeping the baby, threw me out of the house.
There I was, an eighteen-year-old single mother, homeless and scared. I needed
some way to survive.
I pursued my dreams of acting, but I couldn’t bring Emily with me. A
child didn’t belong at a play. I had to give it up. There was no other
thing I could do. I’d taken my high-school equivalency test, but there
wasn’t much I could do with just a high-school diploma, and I couldn’t
afford to put myself through college. My trust fund was slowly running out.
But I would never run back to my father. Because I just couldn’t give
up Emily. And I couldn’t go to Nick.
I got a modeling job, through someone I knew in the acting business. Through
that single job, I got offers—a lot of them. My life was slowly improving.
Carrie kept trying to set me up with guys, but I would never go out with
anyone. She didn’t know how much I loved Nick. The pain of seeing someone
else was too great. She didn’t know who the father of my child was,
and I wanted to keep it that way. She respected that, though I know it bothered
her that I never told her anything, other than that I didn’t want to
ruin his life by telling him he was a father.
The only person who knew everything was Scott. He sensed how much I needed
Nick, but I knew he would never do anything to betray our confidence.
I moved to LA, because that was where my agent was, and that was the place
I could get jobs. I had no friends there. Occasionally I could get acting
jobs there, one-time ones, where I could bring Emily with me.
Emily’s call snapped my back to reality. My two-and-a-half-year-old
daughter needed me. And she was all I had.