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Chapter 15
My dad's car pulled up into the driveway of our Spanish style home, and the tour bus parked outside on the curb. I had decided I would ride the bus home from the office instead of going with my father, since this would be the last time I would see my friends for awhile. My father grabbed my stuff to take inside, waved to the guys, and went inside the house, leaving me outside with all my friends surrounding me in a tight circle.
There was a slight breeze, and the feeling in the air wasn't a very pleasant one. Everyone had solemn expressions written all over their faces, and were hesitant in saying their good-bye's.
"Come on guys," I said with a smile, I'll see you all pretty soon. Let's not get too emotional!" My eyes started to tear up, but I continued. "My dad said that this tour is over in one month, then you have three weeks off, and then you go on your tour of Europe, and I'm gonna try really, really hard to come. So, that means that we'll have about 2 months apart, because school ends in about a month and a half." I bit my lip, and felt the tears start pouring down my face. "I'm gonna miss you all sooo much! I can't believe I was lying to myself, and saying that it will me alright."
Brian pulled me into his arms and gave me a huge bear hug. I knew that I would miss Brian a lot, because he was the one that helped me out with the whole Nick situation. If he hadn't helped me, who knows what could have happened.. He was my mentor, someone I looked up to, and most of all my friend.
"I'm gonna miss you Becc!" his said with his voice quivering.
"Me too B. A lot!"
"I want a hug too!" Leighanne complained.
I pulled away from Brian, and gave Leighanne a hug.
Leighanne was the biggest sweetheart I had ever met. She had right by my side since the very first day I had met her. I would never forget that night at the club when she took me into the bathroom and listened to me cry, and whine about my problems, and how much I wanted Nick for myself. She was there for me, although she had just met me, and that is something that I will never, ever forget.
I pulled away from her and I saw AJ looking down at the grass. I loved AJ so much as a friend. He had totally understood that Nick was the man I wanted to be with, and never held it against me. He cared so much about me, and only wanted what was best for me, and not for himself. He helped me in so many ways, that I cannot even begin to describe. I held out my arms to him, and he embraced me in a long hug.
After our hug, I looked over at Kevin and Howie with my blurry vision from all the crying I had been doing.
"I can never even begin to repay you for all of your help," I said with slight difficulty. Tears were streaming down my face, and it was hard to speak, being that I am so emotional. What I was referring to was the night at the club where they had helped me from that crazy man. If they had not been there to knock him down, who knows where I would be today.. I was eternally grateful.
I first gave Howie a hug, and then Kevin. I had to stand on my tip-toes for Kevin being that he was so tall, but I was already used to that since I had a lot of practice with Nick.
Lastly, I looked at Nick. The love of my life.. The man I wanted to be with for infinity and beyond. Good-bye's were painful enough, but having to say good-bye to someone you held so dearly in your heart was the hardest thing anyone could ever endure.
Howie, Kevin, AJ, Brian and Leighanne said good-bye once more, and loaded onto the bus leaving Nick and myself on my grass alone.
"You've got all of our cell phone numbers, girl!" AJ yelled from the door.
"Don't ever hesitate to call!"
Nick took my hand and led me to my backyard full of flowers, shrubbery, and trees for a talk by ourselves.
We stood facing each other, and holding hands, neither of us saying a word. Just being together was enough to last us a lifetime. I don't know how long we stood there like this, but I do remember that it had grown dark before anyone began to speak.
"I'm going to miss you, Nick.."
"I know, me too."
"I just want you to know that even though we are gonna have to go through a time period where we aren't together, it will not change my feelings for you."
"I agree. I want nothing to change."
"It won't.. At least not on my part. I promise."
"I do too."
"I love you, Nick. Remember to call me, alright?"
I had given him my own personal phone line number, my e-mail address so that if he was ever by a computer he could drop me a line, and my address at home.
"Everyday."
"I'll be waiting."
"I love you sweetie," he said giving me a kiss on the forehead. He hugged me warmly, and I clung onto him, never wanting to let go, although I knew I would have to sooner or later. The answer was unfortunately sooner.
"Till' we meet again my fair prince!" I said to him with a smile. We hugged once more, and I walked him to the bus. I said my final good-bye's and with a wink of an eye, Nick was on the bus, and was being whisked away from my life. At least for the time being.
I reached my arm out towards the disappearing bus, wishing this was all a bad dream, and that I would wake up, and I would be in Nick's arms. I closed my eyes tightly, and when I opened them the bus was nowhere to be seen.
I walked into my house, with a sad expression on my face, and was stampeded by Rose, Cloe, June and Sophie.
"What are you doing here?" I asked them.
"We wanted to know how the trip went!" Rose said ecstatically. "Come
on, let's go talk about it."
I was sitting comfortably on my bed, with my friends sitting on the floor in front of me. For the past three hours all we had done was discuss the things that had happened during the weekend that had changed my life forever. My friends were all shocked to hear that I had actually had sex. They didn't think that I would actually do it with Nick, even though they hoped that I had. I didn't go into too much detail about the sex part, because I wanted to keep something to myself, but went on to other things.
"Man, Nick sounds like the biggest sweetie!" Sophie sighed.
"He is.." I said repeating her sigh. "He really is. You would all love him."
"He looked really nice when we met him," Rose said. "Him running out of the bus to help you with your luggage was a total sign that he had the hots for you."
"He was just trying to be nice!" I said.
"Nice? Nice my ass!"
I then told them about what happened to me at the club with the psychopath. My friends were in total shock when they heard the whole story. We all grew silent for awhile, and finally I got so irritated with the silence, I threw a pillow at June. We all began to laugh, and I suddenly stood up walking over to my purse which my dad had set on my dresser. "I almost forgot.." I said digging through the mess. "These are for you." I handed them each their silver jewelry box, and they immediately fell in love with it.
"What's that?" Cloe asked inspecting my neck.
"Oh! I forgot to tell you! This locket was given to me by all the guys, and Leighanne for a going away present, and a hopefully coming back soon present."
I removed the locket off of my neck, and they all began to pass it around, 'Ooing and Aahing' it.
"It certainly is beautiful," June stated.
"Yes, it is.." I took a deep breath and fell back onto my bed.
My friends left a half an hour later, and I decided to head to bed. I was exhausted from our long trip I don't know how the guys could put up with it all the time the way they did. I know I wouldn't be able to handle it.
I hadn't even greeted my mother, but at this point in time I didn't really care. My mother would probably laugh at me when she saw me so down. It was something that I knew she would do, so I wanted to wait as long as possible before I had to face her evil ways.
Just as I was dozing off I heard a small knock at my door. My dad's head peeked in and he asked, "Mind if I come in?"
"No, I don't mind. Come on in."
For the next two hours my father and I sat on my bed discussing my weekend. I neglected to tell him that Nick and I had made love, but I figured he already knew because of the fond way I was talking about him. That was something that my father could figure out on his own. I knew that I couldn't not tell him about my incident with the man at the club, so I told him the whole thing explaining every last detail. My father was shocked, and cringed at the thought that something could have happened to me. Something a lot more serious than a couple of bruises.
"I am so happy nothing happened to you," he said with a small sigh of relief. "That was a pretty close call."
"Yes, I know. It was horrible. But like I said Howie and Kevin were there."
"And I am ever so grateful for that. I am gonna give them a call tomorrow to thank them for what they did."
"Dad, trust me, I thanked them enough for the both of us."
"That's alright. I want to thank them myself."
I then went on to explain that I really wanted to go on tour with the guys, during the summer and he seemed to like the idea. He smiled at me when I was telling him about it, and nodded his head up and down in agreement to everything I was saying.
"But dad?" the idea of my mother telling me no had just popped into my head.
"Don't worry, I'll work on your mother for you."
"Really!?"
"Of course! Don't I always.."
"Thanks dad, your the greatest. There's one more thing too..."
"And that would be?" He looked at me expectantly.
"Would it be alright if after high school is over I move out of here?"
"Move out of here? So soon?"
"Yeah.. Like get an apartment somewhere by my college." I had been excepted to UCLA which wasn't too far away from home. "I don't want to live in a dorm because they are too crowded, and the thought just doesn't interest me, and I really don't want to live at home because... Well, you know why."
"I understand, dear, but your sister didn't--"
"I know she didn't. But I'm different story. Please, dad, please.. I would do anything. Anything you asked me. I would even get a job to help with the cost of things. I really would," I said babbling.
I wanted to get my point across with my father. And I think it was working pretty well.
"I understand your reasons why you want to move out. It's just that your growing up so quickly, and I don't want to see you leave so soon."
"Growing up is all a part of life. It's not like when I move out you'll never see me again. I'll make sure to get a place close by so that I can come over all the time."
My father looked at my pleading face. I wanted to leave this horrible place as soon as possible. I just needed the OK with my father, who would then beg my mother in letting me go. At least with my father on my side it would make the whole process run a lot smoother.
"You've proven to me what a mature woman you are.. And I think you deserve it. Although it's gonna be hard to let you go--I agree with letting you have your own place. I'll also discuss this whole matter with your mother."
My face lit up, and a smile appeared on my face instantly. "Oh, thank you soo much dad!!" I hugged him tightly, and kissed him on the cheek.
"Now, this doesn't mean that this is the final say, because your mother has to agree to all of this."
"I know, I know.."
"OK, I'm glad you know. Well, sweetie.. It's getting pretty late and you have school in the morning, so I'm gonna let you go to bed now. I love you." He gave me a kiss on the forehead and exited the room.
I got under the covers, and cuddled with my teddy bear imagining it to be Nick. I longed for his touch, his sweet embrace... It took me awhile to fall asleep because of the images running through my mind of Nick Carter.
I don't know how I survived the day, but somehow I did. I missed all of my friends, and Nick so bad, it was sickening. All my friends at school tried to think of different things to cheer me up, but nothing worked. The only thing that really kept me going was the mere chance that my mother would say OK to me having my own apartment and OK to me going with the guys to Europe.
I got home thoroughly exhausted from the lack of sleep I had received and found my mother and father sitting on the couch in the living room having a serious discussion. My father never came home from work this early. I knew something had to be up.
"Oh, sorry to interrupt.. I'll just go to my room."
"No, no," my father said, "Stay. This conversation involves you."
I sat down on a chair facing the couch, and waited to hear what they had to say.
"First of all," my father began to say, "We discussed the whole apartment thing and your mother and I both agree that you are a very mature young lady for your age, and can take on the world by yourself, with no difficulties. We discussed you having an apartment and we decided to let you have one. We'll buy it for you, but you are going to have to get a job and support yourself as best you can. The rest we'll take care of, being that you will be going to college. After college we expect you to be able to handle yourself."
"Thank you sooo much! I won't let you down!" I got up from the couch and hugged both my mother and father. This was a huge step in my life, and I was so happy that they were letting me finally take it. I was also very excited that I wouldn't have to put up with my mother's constant and aggravating ways.
"Also," my father said, "we talked about you going on tour with the guys. I for one agree, since I know the guys so well and all, but your mother is very skeptical about it."
"I just don't think that you can handle five guys on your own."
"But, I did this weekend," I stated.
"I realize that, but this is going to be way different. Your going to be with them in Europe, which is thousands of miles away, for 2 and a half months.
Basically your whole summer."
"I know. And I realize that," I agreed. Afterall, my mother didn't know them, so as much as I hated to admit it, she did have a point.
"But," my father said.
Ahhh.. There was a but! I loved when that happened.
"Since we feel that you are old enough to handle your own apartment, we also feel that you can probably handle a couple months on your own."
I smiled at them and let him continue.
"We just want you to call home constantly to let us know where you are, and to always be safe no matter what you do!"
"Always.."
"Then, the answer is yes!"
I jumped out of my seat and went to hug them again. This was the greatest day of my life. I had to tell Nick. And right away.
I ran upstairs to my room and over to the phone. The red light was flashing four times which meant that I had four messages.
"Hey Rebecca," Rose said. "Call me when you get this. I just wanna talk."
Next message...
"Hey pumpkin! It's grandma. It's been awhile since we've gotten together.
Call me when you have a chance so we can arrange something."
Next message..
"Sup ho? It's Sophie! Call me!"
Next message...
"Hey sweetie."
I recognized this voice... It was the voice that I loved more than anything in the world.
"It's about 4:00 right now, and I am on the tour bus on my way to.. Where we headed, AJ?"
I heard AJ's voice in the background say, "Nevada."
"We're headed to Nevada," continued Nick. "I just called to say I miss you, and hope that things are going alright for you. I'm sorry we couldn't get together today. I only wish I could have seen you."
I heard heavy footsteps, hard breathing and a door slam.
"Now I am in the game room, and I wanted to tell you something. He cleared his throat and sang:
~Show me the meaning of being lonely
Is this the feeling I need to walk with
Tell me why I can't be there where you are
There's something missing in my heart~
I hope you liked that babe. It's called 'Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely,' and it's off of our new album "Millennium." I know you don't have it, but this song just about sums up what I am feeling right now, so I thought I would sing some for you. I gotta go now, but I love and miss you very much. Later."
I kept the message as new so that I could hear it over and over again when I felt lonely. I leaned back on my bed, and began to cry into my pillow, drenching it after only a few minutes from my happy and sad tears. I was crying happy tears because I knew that we would be together again soon, but I was also crying sad tears because I knew that we couldn't be together for at least a month and a half.
After I finally stopped crying I picked up the phone and dialed Nick's cell phone number. It rang four times and an out of breath Nick answered the phone.
"Hello?" he said loudly.
"Nick! Hey baby! How are you?"
"Becc! I'm alright. Just missing you. How are you?"
"Actually pretty good.. Wanna know why?"
"Of course, silly!"
"My parents agreed that I could get my own apartment!"
"Oh my god, are you serious!?"
"Yes! Isn't that the greatest news?"
"Well, not the greatest, because the greatest would be if you could come on tour, but it is definitely great!"
"I asked my parents about coming on tour with you."
"What did they say?"
"They didn't agree."
There was a long pause, and finally Nick said, "They didn't?"
"No.. At least not at first," I added. "But then they agreed!!!"
Nick heaved a sigh and said ecstatically, "Now that is the greatest news!"
"I know. I am sooo excited! I just have to bust my ass and get good grades so I don't go to summer school, because if I do have to go that would totally screw up the plans."
"Well, then study, and use me as your motivation."
"Oh, don't worry, I will! I'm keeping that into consideration."
"Hold up for a sec..."
I heard a voice in the background, but couldn't make it out because it was muffled.
"Shit, I gotta go."
"Alright, I understand. Call me soon!"
"You bet I will."
"And tell everyone else the great news, OK?"
"I will, I will. Love you hun."
"Me too. Bye Nick."
"Later Becc!"
The next month and a half was a huge blur for me. All I was doing was studying. Day and night, day and night. I would come home from school and crack open the books until at least 12:00 at night, get a few hours of sleep, wake up at 5:00 in the morning, and study some more, and I even studied on the weekends. I was completely dedicated to my schoolwork, and was just like Nick had told me to do, I was using him as motivation. That was the only thing that really kept me going.
Nick and I kept up the daily phone calls. Everyday I would get home from school there would be a new message waiting for me from him. And every week there was a letter waiting for me on my bed. I even got a package one day from Nick and inside was the "Millennium" CD with handwritten message scribbled on the inside of the jacket. It read:
"To my baby doll. I know you don't have this CD, and since you are coming on tour with us, we all thought that since you'll be hearing these songs every night you should become better acquainted with them. Love you always and forever, Nick."
Sometimes when Nick would call my house he would ask to speak to my mother just so she could feel more comfortable with me going. He was always thinking of everyone else, and had everything so meticulously planned.
I took my finals, hoping for the best. I had the best feeling about these finals. I had studied so long and hard, that I knew I had gotten an A on every one of them. And a few weeks later I finally found out my grades. A's in every class except English which I got a B in. English had always been tough for me, and I was happy with the B I had received.
Graduation came and went. All my family was there to cheer me on, but unfortunately none of the Backstreet Boys could come. Although they did send me flowers to my school, and a huge stuffed teddy bear wearing a graduation gown and hat, holding a diploma. I had told Nick that I loved teddy bears, and on the card that came with the bear he wrote: "See, I remembered." All the girls were so fascinated with the fact that I knew them. We had a lot of Backstreet Boys fans in our class, and they were all envious of me. I didn't see what the big deal was. I just considered them as my friends, and not huge stars.
I began to look for a place that I could call 'home.' We looked for about two weeks, with no success, and I was getting pretty aggravated. Finally, two weeks after we had begun we found a cute two bedroom, two bathroom condo with a kitchen and living/dining room. It was the perfect size, and didn't need many repairs done to it, because it was practically all in perfect shape.
We decided to give the place a little makeover so my dad hired one of his friends who was a painter to paint my condo a lovely shade of plain white. We had carpet put in, and we hired someone to come take a look at all the fixtures. My father then gave me his credit card and I went shopping with my friends. We filled my apartment up with a two couch set, matching wing chairs, a lovely mahogany, simple coffee table, dining room set, with chairs all around, appliances for the kitchen, a brass bed for my bedroom with a leopard comforter, and matching fluffy pillows, and a dresser. Those were the big things that needed to be taken care of. Next we bought all the little things like: dishes, silverware, towels, plants, flowers, pots and pans etc, etc. The list was endless, but it is too long to say, so I will stop there.
I got settled into my new place, and just as I was getting comfortable with my surroundings I had to pack up, and make the trip to Florida where I would meet them and begin the two and a half month trip. They were all so happy to see me, as was I. We couldn't stop talking due to the fact that we had so much catching up to do. A lot of things had happened in our lives in that short time span that we needed to discuss.
The tour was a huge success, but you can't really expect anything less from the Backstreet Boys.. Amanda came along for the trip, and I grew more and more close with her, as I was with Leighanne. I loved everyone of them in a different way, and am eternally grateful for all that they have done.
"Honey, can you please come in here and help me with the decorations?"
I'm going to have to wrap things up now, because I have some things that
need to be done around the house. If you are wondering whether I ever got married to Nick, the answer is: yes. Nick Carter and I have been together for twenty three years and have been married twenty. We live in California, and have a sizable house up in the mountains. The mountains are such a beautiful place to raise children these days. Leila is nine years old, going on ten tomorrow(we're having a huge party for her which I have to help set up for), Angelique is eleven but tries to act like she's sixteen, borrowing my makeup, and clothes all the time, and Brendan is fifteen years old. Life as a mother of three, and a wife is filled with many challenges, and hurdles, but with the help of my loving husband, it's all been made possible. It's been hard for him to give the children and me the attention that we deserve, because of his job at the bank, but he has always been there for us in every way that he can. He even coaches Brendan's basketball team at the same school Brian teaches at. That has helped him grow closer with his son, and also grow closer with his best friend.
As for me, I have my own clothes store down in Los Angeles with Leighanne. Leighanne and I are the best of friends now, and I wouldn't change that for the world. We both loved fashion so we figured why not make a living off of it? And we certainly are! We dress some of the biggest stars of today.
Nick and I had a very small, and intimate June wedding. I was a sophmore at UCLA University, when Nick popped the question. And the way he did it, was the sweetest thing imaginable. We had been dating for a little over two years, and decided it was time to take a trip. Just him, and myself. Which was a real change, since we were hardly ever alone together. We waited until Christmas break to go, because due to my school and Nick's touring that was our only available time off. So, we went on a trip to San Francisco. We both hadn't been there since two years prior, and were looking forward to our trip. We stayed at the same hotel as we had stayed before, and even went to the same club on Fisherman's Wharf. Later on that night we drove up to the spot Howie had shown us, the really romantic one overlooking the city, and sat down in the same spot. It was a beautiful night, and what made it even better was that out of the blue, Nick got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. I was totally taken aback, but said yes, because I knew I was so much in love with him, and was ready to spend the rest of my life with him. We had a wedding a few months later.
Brian was the best man, and Leighanne, Rose, Cloe, June, and Sophie were my bridesmaids. We held the wedding at a small church in Pasadena, inviting the guys, the Backstreet Boy band, security, technicians, my family, Nick's mother, father, sisters, and adorable little brother Aaron, AJ's family, Howie's family, Kevin's family, Brian's family, and a lot of friends from both my school, and friends of Nick's that he had met while on tour, and from the rest of the guys. The wedding was beautiful, Nick was handsome as ever, and it was a day that I know I will never forget.
Brian and Leighanne have been married for twenty two years now, and have two children. A 17 year old boy named Derek, and a 13 year old girl, Hannah. Both of them are great friends with my children, and have been ever since they were babies. Since we live so close to each other(two blocks away) we see each other all the time, and are always having family gatherings. Brian went back to college after the Backstreet Boys decided to do their own thing. They had been together for ten years and decided that it was time for a change. He went to college and got a teaching degree for Music. He now teaches at Derek's high school, which my son Brendan also attends.
AJ and Amanda broke up shortly after the tour was over. They realized that they were having way too many problems and couldn't handle it anymore. AJ went on to marry a model/actress that hasn't quite made it big in Hollywood just yet. He has no children, and has never had any interest of having any. But the one thing is his life that he always had wanted to do, he finally accomplished. Opening and running his own very successful night club: "Studio 69."
Kevin got back together with the love of his life Beth. They had been engaged when Kevin was nineteen, but he realized that he was too young and they broke it off. Years later she attended one of the last Backstreet Boys concerts ever performed. He recognized her out in the audience, and they met up backstage after the show, hit it off once more, and got back together. They got married shortly after that and live in Florida with their daughter Samantha, age 14. Kevin is a personal trainer at his own gym back in Florida, training some of the biggest names in Hollywood.
Howie figured out that his calling was to become a manager for new names and faces in the music industry. He wanted to be able to give people the same opportunity he had received, and cherished so much. He now lives in Florida, pretty close to Kevin, and is married to a wonderful woman that I hold so dear to me. My best friend since back in high school Rose. I introduced them, and there was an instant connection. They have no kids, but make up for it by having seven dogs, which they love dearly.
We have moved on with our lives, starting new families, and careers, but one thing is for sure: we are all still the best of friends, and will remain to be up until the day we die. We have gone through so much in our lives to let anything come in-between us.
"You coming, sweetie?" Nick asked me, peeking inside our library where I was seated at my desk writing.
"Yeah, I'll be right there." He smiled at me, and walked away.
That is one chapter of my life. There will most likely be many more, and when there are, don't worry, you'll be the first to hear from me. So, I guess this is good-bye for now, until I have another story for you. Aren't good-bye's awful? Good-byes are the worst thing anyone could ever be faced with. Now you know how I felt when I had to say good-bye...
THE END
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