|
|
Chapter 10
Tia
shut her door after Brian and stared at it for a moment. She let out the
breath she had been unaware she was holding and collapsed on her bed. This
would change everything. No matter how the situation ended, things would
never be the same between she and Brian. Whether or not they changed for the
worse.
”OK, bye then. Love ya.”
“Love you, too.”
The words had been
spoken so casually, yet neither realized then how they
would have wanted it to sound later.
Tia ran her hands
through her curls and let them rest on the back of her
neck. She closed her eyes and replayed that kiss in her mind. He had smelled
SO good. How had she not noticed it before?
Opening her eyes,
Tia looked around the room. Her head pounded, and she lay
on the bed exhaustedly. The pain only intensified. Tia’s fingers groped
for
the call button and she pushed it then dropped her hand quickly. It hung off
the side of the bed limply.
“Well, Tia,
how was your – “ Trina stopped when she saw that Tia has passed
out before she could finish the sentence. Her eyes widened and she leaned
out the door. “Doctor Smith!”
Everything went
by so quickly. Doctors rushed in, and Trina, for once, was
useless. All she could think was, ‘Not yet, Lord, please!’
Once Tia was stabilized
and the room was silent, save for the clock on the
wall, Trina cautiously crept to the bed and sat down next to it. She took
Tia’s hand and squeezed it.
“Tia,” she whispered. “Everything’s gonna be okay, baby.”
Trina stayed with
her favorite patient all night, not even ending her shift.
She held her hand and stroked Tia’s face when it broke out in a sweat.
She
smoothed her hair back and prayed constantly.
***
Tia drifted in
and out of reality. One minute she could see and or hear
Trina talking, and the next thing she heard was voices. Voices from her past
and voices from the present mixed together and confused Tia as she lay
there, on the borderline with life and death.
“Tee, I bring good news.”
“I still
can’t get over the fact that Brian, from the Backstreet Boys,
underwent heart surgery. Must have been tough on the group…”
“NOW we’re the Backstreet Boys.”
“I think he means are you going to die?”
“I’d be scared spitless to die.”
“What’re you talking about? They are your friends!”
“I’ll probably never see them again!”
“I’m sure they’ll keep in touch. They’re like that, aren’t they?”
“You really
need to get over the whole ‘bother’ thing. It’s gonna get you
in
trouble someday.”
“Trouble with who?”
“I’m glad you made that decision. You’re actually happy.”
“Down a spot at number two today, here are the Backstreet Boys-“
“Hospitals
make me nervous. Do you mind if we take a walk outside or
something?”
“You have maybe four, five months at the most.”
“And –
and they told me…it was supposed to be 45 minutes long. I was under
surgery for 2 hours because they found another hole. When I think that I
almost died, I want to cry. Sometimes I do.”
“You hadn’t
even known us for long and you totally opened up to us. Even
Nick.”
“I-I thought you said you’d always listen…”
“They found
something that might save you. You’re not going to die, Tee! I
told you so!”
“I’ve only known you a couple weeks. But still, like, it’s strange…”
“You’re impossible, you know that?”
“I bet you and Brian would make an adorable couple.”
“You’ll
die in your sleep when your eighty years old, next to Brian when
he’s, like, what? 86?”
“Well,
I can’t seem to get you out of my mind long enough to look for any
cute girls.”
“I just
want to be a normal guy, do normal things for once. Wake up and
think, ‘what am I going to do today?’ Maybe lounge around until I
decide
what to do.”
“I have
a feeling if your life was ‘normal’ you’d wish it was different.
I
know I wish mine was.”
“I want
to take you out, do something to celebrate the end of the tour. I’ll
really have missed you bad by then.”
“Bye, Tee.”
“Bye, Brian.”
“This…Brian…he means very much to you.”
“I don’t
need help, Mama. Brian does mean a lot to me. But only as a friend.
I don’t have the time, or future for that matter, to deal with anything
else.”
“Mothers know everything.”
“I’m not a child.”
“You can deny me of it, just please do not deny your feelings to yourself.”
“Why is your face red?”
“Uh, it’s just really warm in here, that’s all.”
“I’m just wondering what could have you so…perplexed.”
“Muscles get heavy, y’know.”
“Everyone comes to the movie on dates an’ stuff.”
“I mean, it’s you and me isn’t it?”
“Two for Girls and Boys, p lease.”
“Look, Amy, that guy’s girlfriend is making him see a chick flick, too.”
“Please do not deny your feelings to yourself.”
“We’ve gotta do something about this anti-romance phase.”
“Why does this mean so much to you?”
“Oh, I
don’t know, maybe because we’re not even DATING and you freaking made
a deal with me?”
“You only like Ryan because Freddie played the part. You didn’t like RYAN.”
“How come whenever we’re alone, you freeze up and act all…nervous?”
“You can deny it to me, but please do not deny your feelings to yourself.”
“Don’t you want me to walk you in?”
“Tia, you know you’re my best friend.”
“You know that right?”
“If-yes. Yes I know that.”
“Brian you’re scaring me. What are you doing?”
“Wow.”
“My sentiments exactly.”
“Didn’t that make you feel…”
“Great? Wonderful? Amazing? Incredible?”
“…Do not deny your feelings to yourself…”
“Doctor Smith!”
“You’re my best friend.”
“You and Brian would make an adorable couple.”
“…Do not deny your feelings…”
“There
was a reason for that. My heart surgery was the scariest thing I’ve
ever experienced. It was like…when I went in, I left my body and
somehow…floated above it. I couldn’t feel my body, and my body couldn’t
think…”
“Anytime you wanna talk, Brian, I’ll be here.”
“You have maybe four, five months to live.”
“This…Brian…means very much to you.”
“You can
deny your feelings to me, but please do not deny your feelings to
yourself.”
”OK, bye then. I love you.”
“Love you, too.”
“I can’t believe how easy it is to talk to you about this.”
“We’re
both going through the same thing, that’s why. We know what we’ve
been through…”
“…And where we’ve been…”
“I love you.”
The moonlight shone
in on the dark room, casting an unknowing glow on the
still form on the bed and the figure seated beside it. The monotonous beep
of the monitor to the left of the bed soon lured Trina into a restless
sleep.
***
Megan yawned widely
and rubbed her eyes with her hands. She looked down at
Tia sadly.
“I know you
wanna come out of this funk, girlie,” she said absently, holding
her best friend’s hand. “You’ve got everyone worried about ya.”
Megan sighed and
craned her neck to crack the tired bones. She had been with
Tia for five hours now, and hadn’t moved since. Knowing, but not caring,
that her boss would have her head on a platter for not showing up, Megan
could only hope that it wouldn’t affect her status with the president of
the
building. Being 23, this job could make or break her career as an interior
designer.
Her thoughts returned to Tia and she squeezed her hand.
“All right,
you win. I thought you of all people would know that this isn’t
the way to get someone’s attention. What do you want? Say the word and
you’ll have it.” Megan brushed a stray tear and wiped her finger on
her
jeans. As she stared at the salty streak on the denim, her vision blurred
and the tears began to fall freely.
“You’re
gonna pull out of this, Tee, I promise. I just called Brian, and
he’s on his way over to stay with you for awhile, k?” Megan thought
she felt
Tia’s finger twitch at the mention of Brian’s name. I really need
some
sleep, she thought.
Megan stood up
and leaned down, kissed Tia on the forehead and straightened.
“Brian was really worried about you, Tee. If anybody, please wake up for
him.”
Megan got to the
end of the hall and was about to push the ‘up’ button on
the elevator when it opened and a figure came rushing out. Megan lifted her
arms instinctively as the person crashed into her.
“Megan?”
She opened her eyes and looked up at Brian. “Why the hurry?” she asked.
He released her
arms and stepped back, reaching an arm up and wiping his
eyes with the back of his hand. “How is she?” he inquired.
“She’s alive,” Megan answered, shrugging. Brian paled at the words.
“You don’t think – she’s not gonna DIE, is she?”
Megan blinked.
“Nah,” she said, shifting her gaze. “She’s waiting for you,
though.”
Brian started to
turn away, and Megan stepped into the elevator. She closed
her eyes and let out the breath she had been holding.
“Megan, wait!”
Brian called and she quickly stopped the doors from closing.
He appeared in front of her and stepped into the elevator, keeping one hand
on the doors and enveloping her in the other arm. Megan was shocked at
first, then wrapped her other arm around him, closing her eyes and giving
into the friendly hug.
“She’ll
be okay,” he whispered. Megan nodded, knowing he was trying to
convince himself as much as he was her.
Brian released
Megan and smiled at her. “I’m just…gonna go sit with her
now,” he said. Megan nodded again and pushed him out the door.
Brian stopped outside
Tia’s door and closed his eyes, saying a quick prayer
before he opened it.
He sat down beside
the bed and looked at her. “I’d hope this isn’t because
of me,” he began. “I mean, I know my kisses are spectacular, but usually
they don’t send victims into a coma.”
Brian?
Brian reached out
and gathered her small hand in his. He rubbed her knuckles
gently, dropped her hand, and put his head in his hands.
“Jeez, Tia, it can’t be your time, not now.”
I can’t think…too tired…
“I just wanted
to tell you, I guess I was too scared to before, I really
liked kissing you. It was like…what we were meant to do…” Brian
trailed off.
“That sounded stupid. I meant, it seemed like a moment, you know? Like
it
was telling us something, like we were supposed to be together or something.
Or something,” he joked weakly. He sighed. “I know you can hear me.”
I can hear you, Brian, why can’t you hear me?
“I never even
got a chance to ask what was wrong with you. Is it your
treatments? Some kind of messed up side effect? I kinda came straight here…”
Brian sat back
in the chair and crossed one ankle over the other knee. He
closed his eyes, leaned his head back and rested it on the back of the
chair. Silence ensued.
“I know this’ll
sound weird,” he began. His voice sounded hollow in the
empty room. “Just bear with me. I think…that you fell into this funk
for a
reason. This is kinda morbid, Tee, so don’t think of me as terrible after
you hear it.” He opened his eyes but didn’t lift his head. “With
my
condition, and your condition, maybe it’s just natural that we be together,
either here…or in Heaven.” Not liking how that sounded already, he
hurried
on. “Maybe God…is like, giving us hints.”
Brian could hear
Howie’s voice in his head. ”She’s not gonna be there
forever, Bri.”
“And those
hints…well, the subtlety just isn’t there.” He chuckled
nervously. “If you have to die, then I’m gonna die, too, so we can
be
together…always.”
No, Brian!
Brian’s eyes
widened. “I’m sorry, did you just say no?” he questioned,
leaning forward in his chair. Waiting, then leaning back again, he sighed.
“I coulda sworn I heard you…”
Brian shook his
head. “But…my mom always told me you go to Hell if you kill
yourself…”
“Of course, you aren’t dying,” he insisted, more to himself than to her.
Brian leaned his
head back again and re-closed his eyes. The monotonous beep
of the heart monitor soon pulled him into sleep.
Brian? Are you still there?
……………
Brian!?!
Please don’t
die, Brian, I’m going to be fine! Somebody help me! I want
out!
Yet all she could
hear was the same horrible silence. The silence that was
so final, so deafening at the same time. And the next noise was even more
final.
Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepppppppppppppp
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~