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Chapter 9
"Tia," her mother yelled. "Phone!"
Tia looked up from her brother and her father's basketball game in surprise.
"Me? Is it Megan?"
"No, it's a young man!"
Tia stood up and dusted the seat of her pants off. Then she made her way into the house and accepted the phone from her mother. "Hello?"
"Hey, you," Brian said.
"Um, Brian, how'd you get this number?" Tia turned away from her mother's questioning eyes and stared at the wall.
"Trina," he answered sheepishly. Tia allowed a small smile to cross her features.
"What have I told you about sending the nurses flowers," she chided.
"Only if they're to be forwarded to you," he recited. Tia laughed.
"I miss you," she whispered daringly.
He was silent. "You're not going to be there when I get back."
"Not for a couple days," she specified. "How's the tour going?"
"Eh," he grunted. "Same old, same old."
"You know, you shouldn't tell me that. I'm a fan, 'member?" she teased.
"Hang on, then," he requested. The next time he spoke, his voice was different. "I love touring! It's great. Tour's going great, fans are great, I love it. I couldn't be more happy."
"Whatever." Tia sat down at the kitchen table and tapped her fingers on the table. "So, met any cute girls?" she asked in a singsong voice.
"Well, I can't seem to get you out of my mind long enough to look," he joked. She smiled.
"I have that effect on people."
"You sure do." He paused. "But anyway, how have you been?"
"Okay," she replied. "Boredom: not okay."
"Treatments?"
"Okay," she permitted.
"Nothing you can't handle, right?"
She smiled. "Right."
"And if you can't you'll tell someone, right?"
"Right, Brian."
"Me, right?"
"Sure," she promised.
Satisfied, he fell into telling her about a couple of fans he met backstage. She listened quietly, enjoying the sound of his voice. When he laughed, she couldn't help but laugh with him. He had a way about him that made him such a great storyteller.
"I can't wait for the tour to end," he sighed suddenly. Tia straightened.
"No, Brian, enjoy it while you can," she advised.
"I just want to be a normal guy, do normal things for once," he groaned. "Wake up and think, 'what am I going to do today?' Maybe lounge around until I decide what to do."
"I have a feeling if your life was 'normal' you'd wish it was different."
She smiled wanly. "I know I wish mine was."
Brian could just see Tia's dark-as-night eyes and her black curls. He closed his eyes and pictured the dimple in her left cheek. He sighed softly and opened his eyes.
"Tia, I like you and your life just the way you and it is," he told her.
"And so does everyone else."
"I know."
She lifted her hand and examined her fingernails. The once rose color was now chipped and peeling. Much like my life, she thought dryly.
"Tee? You there?"
"Yeah."
"What do you want to do when we see each other next?"
"Whadaya mean?" she asked, gnawing at a broken cuticle.
"Well, I want to take you out, do something to celebrate the end of the tour. I'll really have missed you bad by then."
She could envision his grin in her mind and she smiled sadly. "Oh, I don't care, Bri. Whatever."
"Perfect. I'll surprise you." He stopped and yelled something to someone then he came back on. "Just make sure you can get out. The day you get back. Okay?"
She nodded her head absently. "Okay."
"Okay…" Brian covered the phone and Tia could hear muffled voices.
"Brian?" she asked after several moments. "Isn't this long distance?"
"Sorry, Tia," he apologized. "Nick just told me we have a meeting, so I'm gonna have to let ya go."
"Okay," she agreed. "If you get the chance, call me again, okay?"
"I will," he promised. "Be ready when you get back," he added.
She smiled. "I will."
"Okay. Bye, Tee."
"Bye, Brian."
Tia clicked off and stared at the table. She looked up when someone sat across from her. Her mother smiled gently.
"Novio?"
Tia managed a small laugh. "Oooh, no."
"Okay. You know I hate guessing. Who was that?"
"Brian."
Her mother waited patiently for Tia to continue, and when she didn't, she covered her daughter's hand in hers. "But you want it like that, si?"
Tia looked up, straight into a mirror reflection of herself. Right down to the dimple. The one difference she could think of was that Tia had almost black eyes, whilst her mother's were more like dark chocolate.
"Chica?" her mother questioned softly.
"What, mama?" she asked, her accent becoming more apparent as the result of being home after a long time.
"This…Brian…he means very much to you."
"Not in the way you're thinking," Tia responded. She gazed at her mother.
Having been born in America, she only knew little of the Spanish language. The words and phrases her mother used around the house were the only ones she could account for.
"Tia, you know you can tell me what you are thinking. I will not be able to help you until you tell me."
"I don't need help, Mama," Tia insisted. "Brian does mean a lot to me. But only as a friend. I don't have the time, or future for that matter, to deal with anything else."
Mrs. Robinson just gazed at her daughter with a knowing look on her face.
"Just remember, hija, madres conocen todos."
"What does that mean?" Tia wondered.
"Mothers know everything," a new voice supplied. Both women looked up to see Mr. Robinson standing in the doorway. He stood tall for 5'11, and his dark hair just grazed the ceiling of the doorframe.
"This mother may think she does, but it's not true," Tia answered stubbornly.
Mrs. Robinson smiled at her husband affectionately and stood up. "Well, Tia," she said. "I will leave you alone - for now." She bent down and kissed her daughter's forehead. "You can deny me of it, just please do not deny your feelings to yourself."
Tia frowned at her mother's words. Am I lying to myself? she thought.
She rolled the advice around in her brain, unaware that she was staring blankly out the window. I couldn't have those kind of feelings for Brian, could I? And if I do, does he have mutual feelings?
***
"Hey!" Tia greeted Brian. "How're you?"
"Pretty good," he answered, withdrawing a single white rose from behind his back. "For you."
"That's so nice, Brian, thanks," she said, turning her head as he kissed her cheek.
"How was your trip home?" he asked. Tia walked over to the bathroom and he followed her.
"It was good." Do not deny your feelings to yourself…yourself… Tia shook her head and pulled the sink stopper up. "I missed my family." She ran the water until it filled the sink a couple of inches.
Brian watched as she placed the stem of the rose delicately in the water.
"Why aren't you at a hospital there?"
Tia shrugged and turned around. "They thought this place had potential." She flicked the light off and looked at him, illuminated in the darkness by the window behind him. "And it does."
He gazed at her, admiring the shine of the light on her face. Her dark eyes gazed back at him, and he felt like she was reading through to his soul. It shook him to the core. "Yeah, well," he said then, turning around. "Ready?"
Tia walked to the bed, where she had carelessly tossed her jacket, and stood for a minute. Something had happened just then to Brian. Tia grasped her jacket and stared out the window. Had he been staring at her like that for a reason?
"Tee?" Tia jumped when she felt a warm hand on her shoulder. She half turned and looked into Brian's eyes. "You okay?" he questioned, his eyebrows knitting in concern.
Tia managed a small laugh. "Yeah," she said, shrugging her jacket over her shoulders. She felt her cheeks warm when he helped adjust it. Brian noticed and eyed her.
"Tia why is your face red?" he asked, frowning in confusion.
"Uh, it's just really warm in here, that's all," she said quickly. "Let's go."
As Brian drove, Tia tried to ignore the small glances she knew he was shooting her. She flipped through the CD's he had in a holder, not really seeing them. She looked up when she saw his hand move out of the corner of her eye. He was turning the radio on, flipping through the channels. He stopped at one and smiled, turning his gaze back on the road.
I need to sit back
And kick out
It's about the way I'm makin you feel
You're tryin' to show me that you're happy
Really happy
But I can see that these feelings aren't for real
The unhappiness
Are maybe causing you
Is definitely unintentional (Definitely unintentional)
So don't hesitate
Don't be afraid
Cuz tell me cuz my actions are not crutional
But I'll tell you something right now
Tia stared at her lap as the words hit home. Brian began to sing along, his strong voice ringing in her ears and making her heart pound.
"Not gonna don't wanna…Never gonna don't wanna…Wanna end up alone…Not gonna never gonna…don't, don't wanna…wanna end up alone." Brian looked over at her and smiled slightly. She smiled back, silently cursing him for having those mesmerizing blue eyes.
I need you to be honest
Really honest
And tell me what's on your mind
(You can tell me what's on your mind)
Whatever the problem may be
Tell me
Oh cuz the body never lies
Am I too hard (Too hard)
Too soft (Too soft)
Or am I really just selfish to the knee
So don't hesitate
I must physcibate
Let your feelings all be known
"Here on 101.5 we play all the latest music," the DJ droned. "That was All Saints, with Alone. Good song, I think. I could sit here with the headphones on…"
Brian turned it down and looked at her as he parked. Tia stared at the listings of movies. "Perfect timing for that song, huh?"
"What?" she asked, looking back at him.
"Never mind," he said and pulled out his wallet.
"I'm sorry, Brian, I'm just really preoccupied…"
He shut his wallet with a snap. "I couldn't tell."
"Are you mad at me?" she asked in a small voice, incredulous.
He smiled gently and took her hand. "Of course not. I'm just wondering what could have you so…perplexed, so to speak."
Tia tore her eyes away from their hands and to his face. "It's…nothing, really."
Brian shrugged. "What do you wanna see?"
"What?" she asked blankly.
He gestured to the movie theater. "What movie," he said, staring at her.
"Oh, right," she said and looked at the list again. "Uh…Boys and Girls looks good. I've always had a thing for Freddie Prinze Jr."
Brian rolled his eyes. "You and the entire subscription list to Teen Magazine."
"I think someone's jealous," she sang as they walked inside.
Brian looked at her with a 'duh' expression on his face. "Tia," he said.
"It's me, a Backstreet Boy. What do I have to be worried about?"
"Oh!" she exclaimed. "Getting a little, ah, self involved, are we?"
"Hey." He pretended to flex. "I have every reason to be."
Tia coughed. "'Cept for the whole Nick thing."
He playfully punched her shoulder. Then, thinking twice, he wrapped his arm over her shoulders and rested it there as they waited in line. Tia looked at him. He caught her eye and shrugged. "Muscles get heavy, y'know."
Tia laughed and jabbed her finger in his stomach. A wounded expression crossed his face and he gave her puppy dog eyes. She looked away quickly, nowhere near ready to deal with those eyes.
"This line is awfully long," she remarked.
"It's Friday night. Everyone comes to the movies on dates and stuff."
"Are we on a date?"
The subtlety startled him into silence, and he searched for words to say.
"Well, I, uh, guess. I mean, it's you and me, isn't it?"
Tia laughed and poked him again. "Nice save, dude."
He just laughed and removed his arm from her shoulders to reach into his back pocket for his wallet. Tia put her hand on his and glared at him. "I'm paying."
"Tee-ah," he complained.
"No, Brian, seriously, I'll take care of this one," she insisted.
"I wouldn't feel right at all," he argued.
"C'mon, what do I usually get to pay for?" she pointed out. He stopped. The girl behind the counter waited for them, her head swiveling in each direction.
"We're on a date," he blurted out. A grin lit his face. "Ha! Guy's always pay on dates."
"Not always," a girl from behind them spoke up.
"See there!" Tia said triumphantly, putting her hands on her hips. She stared him down playfully.
He groaned. People were shifting impatiently and he had to think of something quick. "Okay, I have an idea."
Tia's eyebrow rose as she waited.
"I'll pay for tickets, you pay for food," he said, smiling.
Tia glanced behind her and sighed. "Fine," she consented. Brian turned around to face the employee.
"Two for Girls and Boys, please," he requested, smiling victoriously.
"Boys and Girls," Tia corrected in a hiss.
"Whatever," he dismissed it with a shrug. Tia rolled her eyes.
"Look, Amy, that guy's girlfriend is making him see a chick flick, too," a male voice said behind them. Tia felt the heat rise to her cheeks when she noticed Brian turn around just in time to hear the comment. He smiled and took her hand.
"Let's go, honey," he said, winking. "You'll like this movie, I promise.
It's supposed to be really good."
Tia stifled a laugh. "I hope so," she played along, dragging her feet. "It looks stupid, that's for sure."
Brian shook his head in mock dismay, obviously astonished at his 'girlfriend's' opinion.
"We've gotta do something about this anti-romance phase."
***
"You're kidding me!" Tia exclaimed. "You ARE getting something, just to let you know. Now what do you want?"
Brian gazed at her with an amused expression on his face. "I'm not hungry," he repeated simply.
"Oh. My." Tia stamped her foot. "Brian, we had a deal. You pay for the tickets, I cover the food. What ever happened to that?"
"Nothing happened to it," he said. "You can still get something. I just don't want anything."
"Why are you so determined to spend money on me, but not let me spend any on you?"
"Tia, I already said, I'm not in the mood for anything - "
"You are a terd, you know that?" she hissed. He laughed. "I'm serious!"
Brian bit his lip and tried to keep a straight face. "I'm serious, too. I forgot to tell you - I'm allergic -"
"Allergic my butt!" she interrupted, glaring at him. He threw up his hands.
"Why does this mean so much to you?"
"Why does this mean so much to me?" she repeated. "Oh, I don't know, maybe because we're not even DATING, and you freaking made a deal with me?"
"We didn't shake," he began, but stopped and held up his hands in surrender when she pinched her fingers over the skin under his arm. "Ouch! Okay!" he relented, shaking his head. "I'll have a drink."
She waited for him to continue, her left eyebrow arched. He sighed. "And some Goobers."
"Anything else?"
"No," he said sternly. She let a small smile go. He smiled, too, relaxing.
***
"Brian," Tia whispered. "I'm going to go to the bathroom, okay?"
"Okay," he whispered back. "Don't take too long. Jennifer is about to run back to Ryan instead of going to Italy."
She laughed softly. "How do you know?"
"It's so obvious," he scoffed. "These movies are so transparent…all right, Nick told me," he admitted. Tia smiled.
"Trust Nick to ruin the ending," she muttered, standing up.
Tia pushed the door of the bathroom open and walked in. She wrinkled her nose at the notorious smell of public restrooms, and found a stall quickly. As she was leaving the bathroom shortly after, she felt a short wave of nausea. She stopped and put a hand on her head.
"Whoa," she mumbled. "Sudden headache."
She made her way back to Brian and squeezed her way past the other viewers to Brian, who had insisted on sitting by the wall.. "Did she run back to Ryan yet?"
"Nah," he whispered. "She's in the van, though."
Tia nodded and turned her attention back to the movie.
***
"…so, yeah, Hunter/Steve had to be the best character," Brian finished as they arrived back at the hospital.
"Eh, I liked Ryan," Tia disagreed.
Brian pulled the key out of the ignition and shook his head. "That's being biased. You only liked Ryan because Freddie played the part. You didn't like RYAN."
"Actually, as much as I love him, his characters all seem to have the same personality in all his movies," she confessed. "I read somewhere that he is waiting for a new, different kind of role."
Brian nodded, scratching his wrist. The scratch sound filled the air for several moments, then Brian noticed it and stopped. Silence ensued. Tia could sense the sudden awkwardness and was uncomfortable.
"Uh, well, I had fun, Brian, thanks," she said, her hand on the door handle.
Brian's gaze followed her hand, and he looked back up at her with a disguised look on his face. Here we go again, he thought. "Tia, what's wrong?" he asked.
"Nothing's wrong, Brian," she responded, her eyes innocently wide.
"How come whenever we're alone, you freeze up and act all…nervous," he wanted to know.
"Nervous?" she repeated. "Freeze up?"
Brian's features scrunched as he studied her face. The moonlight was shining on her face, creating a moon shaped glint in the irises of her eyes, and a hazy white glow lit the rest of her face. Without thinking, Brian reached out and traced the outline it created. Her eyes widened and his finger froze. They stared at one another, Tia speechless and Brian breathless.
Tia panicked. "Thanks again, Brian," she stammered, opening the door and setting a foot on the pavement.
"That's it?" he asked in disbelief. "Don't you want me to walk you in?"
"That's okay." She set the other foot on the ground and faced the door.
"Wait, Tia, what just happened?" he pleaded.
She stopped. "You tell me."
"I don't - I can't," he said helplessly.
"You can't." Her voice sounded flat even to her own ears.
"No, I mean yes, but I don't know what it means," he finished lamely.
Tia nodded slightly and stood up. She leaned down and peered at him. "I had fun, Brian," she said lightly. "We'll do it again sometime, right?"
"Tia you know you're my best friend."
"Just call me whenever you want to."
"I'd just come over." He got out of the car quickly. "You know that, right?"
"Of course you can come over," she agreed. "Anyone's welcome in the hospital."
"Stop dancing around the topic!" he exclaimed. "I meant you know you're my best friend!"
Tia stared at the hood ornament on his car.
"Tia," he demanded. She looked up at his face, over the top of the car.
"Brian," she whispered. "If - yes. Yes, I know that."
He visibly relaxed. He made his way around the front of the car and stood in front of her, cupping her shoulders under his palms.
"Then - Tia, you're my best friend," he repeated in a whisper.
"You already said that," she whispered, staring at him.
"Did I?" he whispered back. She just nodded.
"Brian, you're scaring me," she whimpered. "What are you doing?"
His left hand moved slightly to her neck on her right shoulder, and she shut her eyes tightly. Her heart pounded out of her chest and she struggled to breathe.
I think I love her, Brian realized, the discovery hitting him like a blow to the stomach.
He dropped his head closer to Tia's, not even thinking of anything but kissing her. He ran his lips over her jawline and felt her tremble. His lips shakily searched hers out and when they found each other, Brian almost fell down at the force at which they joined together. He heard a little sigh escape somewhere inside of her as he pulled away.
Brian opened his eyes and looked at Tia. Her eyes seemed darker than just a moment ago, and they stared up at him wildly.
"Wow," she breathed.
"My sentiments exactly." He smiled as she touched her lips.
They stood there staring at one another, until Tia shook her head and looked at her watch. "It's ten. I have to go inside."
Brian nodded and took a step towards the hospital. He stopped when he realized she wasn't following. "You coming?"
"I was," she said. "Are you?"
His eyes looked to the side in another 'duh' expression. "I usually walk you to your room, don't I?"
"Brian, things are different!" she burst out.
"Because things are different, I can't walk you to your door?" he asked, confused. "I would think this kind of change would MEAN that."
Tia sighed. "Didn't that make you feel…" she trailed off, searching the stars for an answer.
"Great? Wonderful? Amazing? Incredible?" he supplied.
Tia reddened. She hesitantly stepped next to him. "Yeah," she said softly.
He stared down into her eyes for a minute, then smiled and took her hand.
"Let's go," he said gently.
Tia smiled back faintly and let him lead her away.
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