|
|
Chapter 6
I pulled away, suddenly coming down to an earth I’d rather forget with
a very agonizing and sudden crash. I gasped for air, panting and sweating
though little movement had been required. How I longed to stay in those arms
forever, to swim in those eyes for an eternity.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The room came into focus, and I noticed Carrie staring, shocked beyond belief
over what had happened in those few precious moments.
Without a word, Nick left into the cold, lonely night. “Okay—um,
Brooke, what just, uh, what just happened?” Carrie asked, looking slightly
scared and all together confused.
I explained everything to her, including Nick’s identity, in a jumble
of half-sentences, tears, and pain. Years of silent suffering and torment
came pouring our all in the few hours it took to explain the events of that
summer, that fateful summer. My summer secret.
The next night, I spent three hours physically and mentally preparing myself
for that night. Carrie helped calm my nerves, and promised to take care of
Emily that night, as I couldn’t find a babysitter.
“Calm down, hun. It’s gonna be fine.”
I hope you’re right, I thought. Dear God, I hope you’re right.
When Nick arrived that night, he wasn’t the immature teenager he had
been when I left him that summer. He had transformed into something no words
could describe—a Prince Charming of sorts.
He brought me flower, opens doors, and smiled. He was a perfect gentleman
the entire night. He was like the puppy that has done something naughty and
tries to make it up to his master by sitting in his lap and licking his cheek.
He was trying to earn my forgiveness, though he hadn’t done anything
wrong. He had done nothing wrong but live up to his image; a perfect little
boy, a perfect role model and first crush for your child. And a perfect father
for your child, I mentally added.
Yet it all seemed to be too perfect; and from my life, I had gone through
enough strife and conflict to know that nothing good ever lasts. It is always
replaced by pain, suffering… An empty whole, only there to suck more
good things into it.
We reached my door that night. We stood outside of it, neither one of us
venturing to enter it and leave this night, this moment in time where all
seemed well.
“Brooke—“ he said, breaking the silence so thick you could
cut it with a knife.
“Yes?” I prompted.
“Let me back in your life. Let me be a father to Emily.”
I struggled to gain composure as tears threatened to spill over.
“No.”
“What do you mean, ‘No’?” he asked, almost fiercely.
“All good things have to end sometime. I’ve learned—end them
before you get too attached and it causes pain. Goodbye, Nick. And this time,
I promise it will be forever.”
I entered my house without a word, a house that seemed so lonely and cold.
Without control over my body, I shivered. I knew Nick would still be standing
in front of the door, silently raging what to do in his head.
A thousand thoughts suddenly burst in my head, exploding all at once. But
one thing was clear; it just wasn’t meant to be.
“Go,” I whispered, putting pressure on his chest.
Nick’s eyes were sad. “This is my last time to see you—we
go on tour—tomorrow.”
“Please go. It’s—it’s too painful. Go.”
Without so much a wistful glance backwards, he left. Forever.